Ranking Every Film I've Written For LRF

Introduction:

When you've made thirteen films, you tend to think back about what you made before and wonder if it still holds up. Sometimes it does, other times not so much. I may not have the most prolific resume ever (no films over 80), but I take pride in most of the movies I've written for the studio. But what if I took all thirteen films and put them in a list? Which one would be my favorite? Let's find out!

#13. Odette

On the surface, it doesn't seem too bad. The writing is sound and you get a good sense of what the story is like (a darker, edgier version of Swan Lake), but when you hear about what it took just to make it (including one project getting delayed so I could get in something for the season) and how it didn't deliver, you begin to ask "What went wrong?"

I'll tell you. Casting. Everything regarding casting destroyed any chance of this film's success. I'm not quite sure what the process was choosing the cast for this movie, but Natalie Dormer is no princess and Elijah Wood is no prince. Meanwhile, you have Mia Wasikowska sitting there, being all pretty and perfect for the Odette role...and she's Odile. Probably the only roles I got right were the king and queen and Rothbart.

The end result, a disappointing finish to a season that had it's problems regarding box office and the spot of least favorite movie on this list.

#12. Story of Sade

I tend to debate a lot about whether or not I think this or Odette is worse, but while Odette is the overall better-written film, I think Sade takes it in terms of cast and overall fun I had writing it, hence why it's higher than Odette. This film started the working relationship I have with Selena Gomez and got my first profit and on the off-chance, I read it again, I still get a chuckle out of the lines.

Unfortunately, all the issues people had with it means it's the second-worst movie on this list. This is a movie that is destroyed by it's writing. Especially in its protagonist. As well-meaning as she is, she is insufferable. Always up in your face, always spouting one-liners, never taking time to rest. Looking back, one thing I don't think critics mentioned was that when you look at it deeper, Sade comes off as a stereotype of black people. (She's sassy, in your face, tries to be the life of the party, etc.)

The rest of the cast is alright, but really they're given nothing to work with because the set-up makes no sense. Why are these girls living together? Are they sorority girls? Are they college roommates? There's no reason for this movie to happen and yet, here we are.

But really, they're both the end result of the main problem. I didn't focus on telling a story, I focused on being funny. And that isn't something you should do. When writing a movie, you need to focus on the plot and it's elements. You can have it be funny or serious, but it needs to have a coherent storyline all the way through and Story of Sade just didn't do it.

#11. Sunny Days

Pros:

* Was nice to do a wrestling movie

* Casting was mostly on point.

* Gave a nice detail of Sunny's history.

Cons:

* Focused too much on giving facts.

* Never felt the passion for it over other projects.

* Never stood a chance in the box-office.

Here's one I kind of expected to disappoint. Sunny Days was my first attempt at a wrestling movie and it didn't work out for a multitude of reasons. I never felt like I had a connection with the project (I didn't) and it felt like I was going through the motions. It's too bad cause I think it was, in theory, one of my better casts and I did a good job telling the story of Tammy Sytch. Watching WrestleLamia's documentary on her helped.

With that said I often wonder if I really got enough of her. The problem with this movie is that the lead cast is not very interesting and if that happens, the movie is ruined. There's a lot regarding Sunny's life that might've been put under the rug and I wonder what would've been had I put more of that in.

In the end though, even if I had gotten everything right, it still wouldn't have made a profit. Wrestling is such a niche thing these days that it would be very hard to make a movie on it unless you had a lot of stars at your disposal like Dr. Love. It was nice making a film for professional wrestling, but perhaps I could've chosen a better topic.

#10. AGOS: A Game of Survival

This one I think goes down as my biggest what-if, because the groundwork was there for success. Michael Bay was at the helm, Dwayne Johnson put up a great showing in his on-screen debut, Chadwick Boseman impressed and the story was an interesting take on the dystopian competition stories we've seen in modern days. This should have been a hit.

So why wasn't it? One mistake hampered its chances. I labeled it an action/drama when really, it should have been just action. Action/dramas don't tend to work well in theaters. It's either one or the other. It's a lesson I've had trouble learning and will probably have trouble with again at some point.

Two other issues are in this movie, the first being it's cast. As big and impressive as it is, it has gotten worse as time goes by cause it doesn't feel like this should be a cast. It feels like I picked and chose names out of a hat. Some of them paid off (Megan Fox, Nicholas Hoult and John Travolta) and others made no sense (Tom Green). Another big issue is the lack of originality it has. A dystopian future holds a competition that kills people. Where have we heard this before?

This manages to crack the top ten based on the solid writing done by me. At least, as good as I could've with the concept.

#9: Happy Nuke Year

Ah yes, Happy Nuke Year. The first film I made for the studio. It was pretty good all things considered. The cast was expertly handled and there were mostly positive reviews regarding the film. The MVP of the movie is a tie between Shia LaBeouf and Charlie Sheen, both of which give their characters so much life and personality, helped of course by the fact their characters need a bold, charismatic presence.

With that said, it does have problems. Mainly it's too damn long. But outside of that, this is a film that is a candidate to end up on LRF NOW as a director's cut. There's a lot in it that hasn't particularly aged well, too much description on things that don't really need it, too much padding, all that stuff. I'm pretty sure this is one of the reasons we have a 4,000-word limit. There's also the tonal issues that turned people off. If you don't know if you want to be funny or serious, you aren't ready for prime time.

Regardless, I still uphold it as a solid way to debut for the studio and definitely recommend it for movie night with your friends.

#8. The Phantom of the Opera

I'm going to be honest, I'm surprised this didn't recieve a nomination for a Golden Film Award. Maybe it was the fact it was aired early and forgotten about so soon, which is out of my control so there's nothing I can do about that. With that in mind, I'm going to start negative and say that the casting process was plagued with issues. I had the idea of having singers over actors which was shot down quick.

Having never done a musical adapation, it was hard trying to figure out the right cast. Eventually we settled on a happy medium, actors who can act and sing, hence why Tom Jones, Seth MacFarlane and Adam Pascal all ended up in the film...and in retrospect probably shouldn't have.

With that said, the casting for the main duo is spot on. Lily James is sympathetic and elegant as Christine Daae and Luke Evans steals the show every time he's on screen. He made for the perfect Phantom and I'm sure he melted the hearts of many women watching this movie.

An excellent detailing of events, plus a few new things added onto it led to this movie's led to it being a success and it getting a sequel. Yes, you heard right. There will be a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera. I can't go into too much detail right now, but maybe in a future blog post.

#7. Zoe Maye

After the critical flop that was Story of Sade, I knew I had to make things right with Apatow at some point and Season 13 proved to be the perfect season for it. Not only did it garner more profit than our last collab, it received much better reviews. I can't blame them, this is one of the finest plots to a movie I've written for the studio. The story of a disgruntled stripper has a lot of potential and I think I got most of it.

Getting the negative out of way, the bondage scene...that was a no-no. I figured it would be a fun way to showcase Ken's sadistic, perverted tendencies by having Zoe try out one of his many fetishes. Sadly, it pushed the boundaries of the movie a little too far for it's liking.

With that said, there's a lot of good to be found. Ken is still the best antagonist I've written and his demented way of thinking still has me shaking to this day, but the real stars are John Cena and Selena Gomez. Cena is a lot of fun as this foolish porn-star and Selena delivers one of the most underrated performances of the season with her work as Zoe Maye. Her monologue is one of my favorite scenes in my catalog and it cemented my belief that Selena could make it in LRF. The only real knock is Zac Efron and even then, he gets better near the end.

Overall, a successful outing for Apatow and I. Speaking of which, I'm having lunch with him later. We're going to be talking shop.

#6. Nexus

This movie has a soft spot in my heart, it was the first movie I wrote that I was really excited about. Happy Nuke Year and Story of Sade were me testing the waters, but Nexus was a project I had in the backburner for a good while and I wanted to finally make good on it. What we have here is an all-star cast helmed by Ben Kingsley and he and his crew go on adventures in outer space to defeat the mysterious Commander Only. This is also technically my first collab as Mo Buck was a consultant for the script. I go over more in detail in the interview leading up to its release, but to summarize it was an honor working with him and I would love to do so again in the future.

But the biggest success this movie has is it's impressive world-building. It's no Scion (I don't think any film is touching that anytime soon), but it did an excellent job creating a world that was immersive and exciting. Helped that Guillermo De Toro has a flair for visuals.

Alas, not all was well for Nexus. You've probably heard by now but I was hoping to start a franchise for the movie and well, that hasn't happened (and at this point probably never will). Lack of profit domestically cost it. In the end, the thing that did them in was too much backstory. I was aiming for a Star Wars-esque universe...and I got the Star Wars that would've been had George Lucas's original ideas been included (bet you thought I would say the prequels didn't you). Too much lore about the places, characters, and story. Especially for a sci-fi. You have to go fast and furious (no pun intended) and any slip-ups will mean it's doom.

Even so, Nexus will always stand as the first of many chances I took within the studio and one of the brightest.

#5. Greenwater Amusements

I already touched on this and the next film in my last post, so I'm not going to go too in-depth with it. The main story arc was sweet, it was a pet project that came to life before LRF and had a very strong cast. Thomas Middleditch, however, was an ineffective lead and there were too many stories and plots to really make it work.

#4. The Crow: Resurrected

The Crow; Resurrected is the best adaption I've made so far and I loved writing it. Adam Driver and Lili Simmons both played the ball well, especially Adam with his character work and it set the base for the new Crow franchise. It wasn't easy writing it and it wasn't as focused as it should've been, but a strong outing all things considered.

#3. Oh Deer

You may be asking yourself, how on Earth did this get third? Well let's start off with the big one. This film is one of only four animated films to return a profit (next to the Banded Ants series). That alone deserves a high ranking. It's also my highest profit so far. But even if it didn't return a profit, Oh Deer would still be an extremely fun film that children could enjoy. It's presence is heightened by Adam Sandler, the undeniable MVP of the movie. It's honestly amazing he doesn't do more kind-hearted characters, Adam is a gem to be around and I remember having several fun conversations with him. I hope to work with him again sometime in the future!

Alec Baldwin also deserves props. His role may have been a minor one but he did a very fine job with it. He had the sleazy charm to pull it off and the two highlighted a solid crew of voice actors. Who knows what the movie would've been like without them. If I had to point out something that I should've done better, maybe I could've raised the stakes some? It's a very low-key film yes, but something tells me it would be reviewed better had there been more of an edge. But on the whole, you'll get no complaints. Oh Deer was a wonderful film and a promising sign regarding the animated film formula I'm still trying to create.

#2: Accordion De Chanson

Of all the movies I've made, this is possibly the best-written one. A truly incredible story that showcased how far I had come since my beginnings in LRF. One that takes great care and respects it's audience and never talks down to them. But there's more that meets the eye. On top of a flawless story, it also features some of my best scenes (Inspector Tavon singing Nessum Dorma) and is also the best-reviewed film of the bunch (A 74 on Metacritic). You might be asking, what was the method to this? Simple. I love acapella music and choir (I've been in choir for the last four years, both high school and college). I also find France to be a wonderful place to create movies. What better way to celebrate them than by putting all three things together in holy matrimony.

There isn't much I can say. It's a movie that I hope becomes a cult-classic as the seasons go on. If there was anything I'd do differently, maybe I would cut Suzette's character. She just never seemed to serve a purpose and only served to pad time. One has to wonder, how much further would the movie had gone had she not been in it? We may never know.

Perhaps it's just as well. Accordion De Chanson is a truly inspiring, breath-taking film and the moment I knew I had arrived as a writer.

And yet, there's still one more.

#1. Time Passages

This movie is a personal one for two reasons. The first being the song itself. Simply put, it's a masterclass in lyrics and composition. A song about time going by as you struggle to find who you are in life and as a person (not to mention it contains the best saxophone solo ever). But it's also personal for me as a writer. By that point, I had been coming up three flops critically and commercially and I was starting to doubt whether or not I had what it took be a writer in the community. As far as I was concerned, this film represented my last chance. And that's why I am so happy it did as well as it did. It was such a wonderful project that I had virtually no issue writing (not just the second time, but the first time too).

It helps that the cast was game for practically anything. Emma Watson isn't known for being a singer in spite of her work on Beauty and the Beast, but she hopefully proved to others that she can get it done. Blake Jenner played his role as the jealous boyfriend perfectly and Vanessa Hudgens as the bitter best friend was a fun romp. But I think the award for MVP has to go to John Legend, a phenomenal singer and a fantastic narrator. He's the glue that held this movie together and who knows where it would've been had someone else played the role.

Now before I go any further, I think I should address our leading man Ben Platt. I've read and seen people say that he was bland as the leading man and to an extent I agree, but I also think it works in his favor and let me try to explain. When I wrote Marvin's character, I wasn't aiming for him to be over-the-top personality or complex character, I intended for him to be the everyman, the guy you can relate to. That's why he doesn't have many noticeable traits other than being socially awkward and good at singing. Perhaps this is type-casting, but I feel Ben works best with these types of characters and it showed in this film. Maybe I could have found someone more charismatic, but to me, Ben represents Marvin better than most actors I can think of.

Finally, let's talk about Rob Marshall. This man is a musical legend. He's directed greats such as Chicago, Nine, Into The Woods and Mary Poppins Returns. That's a hell of a line-up and it was such a pleasure to work with him. I'm pleased to report that we'll be working together again on a new project. One I believe is right up his wheelhouse.

Lastly, the soundtrack. Oh my goodness the soundtrack. If you've ever wanted a time capsule of the 50s, 60s, 80s, and even a bit of the 00s, this is it. So many wonderful songs that, while they don't always mesh well, are still toe-tappers and wonderful editions to the movie. Emma Watson singing 'If I Ruled The World' by Tony Bennett is one of the finest scenes in any of my movies, but if you ask me, the best scene I ever wrote goes to John Legend singing his breakthrough hit 'All of Me' to the crowd. A truly heart-stopping moment and a fine way to close out any movie.

Honestly? I wouldn't change a thing regarding this movie. Time Passages is a beautiful, charming, pleasent film. It may be clumsy in some places, but it only makes it's core stronger. It is not just a great movie, it is the movie that saved my LRF career. Without it, most of the films you see on this list wouldn't have been made, and for that, I am proud to name Time Passages the best film I've ever made.

Conclusion:

And since it's been four seasons, I guess I can confirm now that yes, Marvin and Alyssa are back together.

But now, I want to hear from you. What do you think the best movie I've written is? Until next time, this is Jacob Jones, signing off!